Socialstances

Chances are when you first meet me I am: smiling, casually making eye-contact, and when I speak make my voice ridiculously high and pleasing. Maybe that's normal, I dunno. But usually I am what you might call "socially inept".

Which makes me doubly annoyed at people who holler from the rooftops about how "real" they are. Really people? I find that hard to believe. Who can be themselves ALL the time. There has got to be at least a few variations-- the "friends you", the "family you", the "job you"...maybe sometimes you pull out something special for specific occasions (the "meeting other people's parents" you or even a "Grandma" you). We are not little-black dresses that are a good fit for any situation. And if you are, you are just as rare to find.

Anyway, back to me. I never know what the other person is expecting from me, so I usually put on the smile until my head feels like its gonna split just to make sure the person thinks, "well gee she seems nice." I never really tend to worry if I like the person, just as long as they like me. I guess that's the George Costanza in me ("I MUST be liked").

Even with strangers I try like hell to make sure they like me. You never know when the shit goes down who'll have your back, esp if its the guy holding the gun ("All right people, on the ground. Except for you girl that smiled at me on the bus and let me get on first. You are free to go")- Not likely I know, but good to be prepared.

However, I was faced with an unusual social dilemma the other day. My desk at work is right next to a big window. I was typing something and then BAM. The window washer guy dropped down and stopped right in front of me. I was startled to say the least (it's possible I screamed a bit and jumped...very possible). But I tried to regain my composure by smiling at him and then turning back to my computer screen. Now normally in these moments when you acknowledge a stranger you do so briefly and then head on your way. Instead, this guy was hanging from a couple of ropes and squee-geeing my window. It's probably not that big of a deal, but I kept wondering what the polite thing to do would be. Do I smile again? Do I wave? Probably since the guy was a good couple floors up and relying on some rope he wasn't looking to make a friend. Still, I'm a newcomer to this "corporate" world, and haven't gotten used to some of these situations that drop into view (pun intended.)

Anyway, speaking of splitting heads, I'm either getting a massive headache because I'm tired, been staring at a computer screen all day, or the towel on my head is too tight and heavy. In any event, it's bedtime. Good night!