Highway Crossing Bott

"Come on! Before they close!" Joe yelled to me from across York Road earlier tonight. At least, that's what I think he was shouting, as it was difficult to tell because of the constant whooshing of cars that separated us. I stood stranded by the car wash on the other side of the road, waiting for a break in the traffic. He finally came closer to the edge and yelled that there was nothing coming for miles. And with a quick glance to confirm (and a big breath of courage), I booked it like Flo Jo, for all 4 secs it took to cross the street. To further solidify that my fears were baseless, Joe proceeded to count the seconds before the next car came along (11 secs if you are wondering).

But it doesn't matter. People have all kinds of fears: heights, spiders, snakes...peaches (yeah, if you ever watched that episode of Maury- pretty sure it was Maury- you would know what I'm talking about. Apparently the girl was freaked out by the skin or something). So is it really so unreasonable that I have a small problem crossing streets? And since I have known a few people who have actually BEEN hit by a car, I'm gonna go ahead and continue to be absurdly cautious.

I don't really know where this fear first developed. I was never hit by a car, I never witnessed someone getting hit by a car, I never had a dog that got hit by a car. And yet, if you walk along with me outside and we come to a point where we need to cross the street, don't be surprised if it takes me an extra 20 min (and I get out some binoculars to check the horizon for headlights) before I budge.

My fellow study abroad friends found that out first hand when we toured around Europe. I had always heard that driving in foreign countries was a little crazier, so naturally my ability to cross the streets worsened. I'd take even longer checking back and forth for signs of cars, and waited like a sprinter waiting for the second the "Walk" sign lit up. As it turned out, in most of the major cities we visited, the driving tendencies weren't so different than the bustling of New York City. I learned fairly quickly the technique of huddling together within a large crowd (somehow the thought of being surrounded by soft bodies which would protect me from a careless driver comforted me..it's sick I know) and moving with them when they crossed the street was useful. For some reason either Alex or Jay has actual video footage of me trying to cross the street in Paris. I'm not sure which is funnier: the fact that it took me actual minutes to do it, or they felt compelled to film it.

After several years, Joe has become quite accustomed to this particular idiosyncrasy. I think it has gone from being a cute thing, to an oddity, to an annoyance, and finally to a defined characteristic. He even often jokes about how he wants to create a game similar to "Frogger " and call it "Highway Crossing Bott." I guess I should be glad that he has managed to accept this quality, but I really should still try to work on it. After all, it can't exactly be fun for people to want to keep moving while I'm stalling.

I guess that's how I tend to be with all things in my life: overly cautious, fear-ridden, and constantly looking to be mowed down. I need to try and be more bold and take a confident step forward, not be so terrified of what's eventually coming down the road. We'll see. In the meantime, I'll keep looking both ways...