Hear U.S.

What a miserably rainy day. I hate when it rains, especially when I have to drive. Walking to my car I try to keep my head down so that no pesky raindrops fall on my glasses, so I don't have to sit in the car and scrub them until they are somewhat clear. But taking them off doesn't help either, since then I have to be careful how I grab them out of my pocket and not end up with greasy finger smudges that take even LONGER to scrub off.

Also, I hate the sound my windshield wipers make. Hearing that screeeeching sound with every swipe sets my teeth on edge. Plus I am always afraid my car is going to hit a wet patch and send me careening into someone's house. And it must not just be me who gets frustrated driving in the rain, because there are literally thousands of Marylanders trying to maneuver every time; usually around OTHER Marylanders who are just plain petrified of any kind of accumulation on the roads, that they drive like Miss Daisy. Oh wait, she didn't drive. Well, if she DID drive, I bet she'd drive like that. But anyway.

Speaking of teeth (remember a few seconds ago?), I was brushing my teeth the other day with what said "Crest" on the tube, but I have a feeling it was mislabeled. I applied the paste to my teeth, immediately getting my old familiar pangs of sensitivity pain, and wondered if someone had replaced it with pure cane sugar. I actually had to suck on my toothbrush for a second.

I looked at the packaging. It's supposed to be that special enamel kind, a good two or three bucks MORE than I would normally spend on toothpaste. I bought it because it said it was supposed to help rebuild enamel AND help sensitivity, along with a whole bunch of other benefits. But if this was supposed to be made to help sensitivity, I'd do better to just brush with chocolate syrup.

It started to get me annoyed. Why is it so much to ask these asshole CEOs to put out a product that actually does what it says- without all the b.s. I wouldn't care about spending the extra money if it actually worked. I then got a great brainstorm for another great television show...

See, it would be like a forum where the head executives responsible for the most used home and health products sat around and are asked actual question by a big studio audience consisting of common folk. Then they'd have to listen to what we have to say, and even better, explain to us why this product works or doesn't. Hell, if two execs actually represent competing products we could pit one against the other, egging on the loser to improve his/her item. That way these people can't hide behind their lobbyists or p.r. people. They would actually have to take their own defective medicine, so to speak. I even thought of some possible titles for the show: "Hear U.S. (like "hear us") or maybe "The Consume/Hear Report". Something with the word "hear" would be good, makes it sound more positive than just "Angry Americans Bitch Out to Overpaid Businesspeople About Their Crappy Products."

Maybe I should pitch it to CNN...oh well, just a thought. And here's another one: I'm tired. And the smell of our over-ripe garbage is making me woozy so think I'll head up to bed. Night, campers.