Ain't Misunderstandin'

You ever have one of those days where it seems the way you are saying things will be misinterpreted? I'll give you a few examples...

A few days ago in the kitchen of my office I was making myself a cup of coffee when one of my coworkers walked in. We remarked briefly about some topic and I noticed him reach for one of the fundraiser candy bars another coworker brought in. I didn't happen to notice if he dropped his required dollar into the envelope and said jovially (at least I thought..), "Hey, you can't just take one of those"

My coworker looked up at me wide-eyed and simply pointed to the envelope. I laughed it off like I was kidding, and I'm pretty sure he did too. I only became paranoid about it when as we both were walking back towards our desks my fremp Les asked how he was doin and simply replied, "Good, except Kris thinks I'm a crook."

I apologized for the 5th time, explaining I was just kidding and that I was genuinely sorry. I meant to come off cheeky but I think I ended up looking like the total ass.

Another time was today in the bathroom. Les and I often go for a stroll around the building for some fresh air and exercise, and when I told her I was going to run to the ladies' real quick first she ended up joining me. I asked how her project was going and she explained that suddenly she felt she was on a deadline. She said, "I'm going as fast as possible." To which I replied, "Yeah, that's as fast as you can go." I don't know why, but I felt like a bitch, as if I was saying, "Yeah, they shouldn't expect any faster from you.

Finally, as I was taking Georgia for our usual run we were suddenly confronted with a man and his black bichon'-looking dog. Georgia immediately wanted to get closer but the other dog was so anxious or excited it began to bark. And because it barked, Georgia began to growl and bark a little. I suddenly had to yank her back, saying something, "Now that's not how YOU act." I don't know why I care, but I became worried that I was insinuating in front of the dog-owner that I didn't want MY dog acting like his, which wasn't necessarily true. I just wanted her to be wel-behaved. Oh well.

I think I'll end there. I made the crucial mistake of cracking open a couple of Saranac brews, so now I'm super sleepy and droopy. Tomorrow- Sunday's weed tackle and why I'm insecure.