Happy Monday fellow grumblers. Yeh, another weekend has gone by, and while I am always sad at the conclusion of a Sunday, I'm sure my liver is happy to have the week (for the most part) off.
But before I get into that, let me give a shout to my #1 fan, my big sis in the Big Apple, Hill (Brooklyn say WHUUUT!, ugh God, am I white...and square. Put me in a plastic sleeve and call me Saltine). Ok enough of the corny metaphors.
So when I last checked in, I was having a pretty miserable Friday. But Joe, being the good guy that he is, became determined to put a smile on my sullen face and insisted we go out to dinner. I really wasn't sure it was a good idea financially, but we agreed that since I spent some cash on beer and wine for the house, he was fine with getting dinner.
Oh, I should mention at this point that the biggest highlight of the weekend was the long-anticipated trip to the Maryland Wine Fest. I had purchased tickets a week ago, excited at the prospect of doing something big as both a farewell to summer and welcoming in fall. Plus my fremp Les told me she and her boyfriend had gone before and said it was excellent. Double bonus: the winery that both they and our friends, one of our go-to couples, proclaimed had some of the best wine they'd ever tasted was going to be there (a rare appearance). So I knew I was going to have to save up my drinking points over the course of the weekend in order to really indulge in the winefest.
Let's say the average person has about 100 points of drinking in them before they start to get into the negatives and feel like total garbage. Well, I've got a crap tolerance so let's cut that in half. I had 50 to last me all weekend. Let's see how I did.
Friday- I had one small glass of wine at the house and then we walked to the restaurant where we each sipped another bigger glass. I never finished it completely, so we'll say 15 points.
2 glasses of wine: 15 points.
Points remaining: 35 points.
Saturday- This was the day of my friend's surprise birthday party. I knew it was going to be tough to hang with this hard-drinking crowd, but I convinced myself I would take it easy. Suddenly, before I know it I am pulled towards the Flip-Cup table, do a kick-ass job (thank you very much, it WAS my game in college after all) and after sacrificing my seat am escorted to the ice luge. Now, this was an experience in college I never had, but after I took a shot of Peach Schnapps down the ice block, I didn't mind it. Probably because the schnapps tasted just like candy syrup. Of course, it wasn't as friendly. Soon I had drank another cup of beer and before I knew it I was in front of the luge again. No problem, I thought, just gimme another peach shot. I looked up at what they were about to pour down the ice slot.
"Hey, that's not schnapps!" I said, loudly.
"Sure it is," the pourer replied, "it's just in it's raw form."
Before I knew to turn my head and walk away I placed my lips at the base of the ice and a cold shot of Yagermeister and Peach Schnapps surged down my gullet. I coughed and wheezed, as easily 20 points of my drinking went right down my throat. For the sake of argument, we'll count all three beers as 10 points.
2-3 beers and small shot of Peach Schnapps: 10 points.
1 shot of Peach Schnapps/Yagermeister: 20 points
Points remaining: 5 points
Sunday- At last, Wine Fest day. And boy did I feel like crap. I barely managed to get myself up in the morning. When we finally did I was famished, having not eaten any dinner the night before. You know that kind of hunger where you just feel sick? That was me. And to top it off we had the idea of visiting the local Indian food buffet to fill up before the fest. Problem was they didn't open till 11 and Joe suggested we just wait it out. I mean, since it WAS already nearly 10 o'clock. So we walked around Towson, while I struggled to keep down the battery acid churning around in my stomach. At last we walked back, and still the Open sign remained unlit. I was getting extra ornery when Joe called and a woman answered, saying they'd open in 10 mins. At last I was able to eat, but because my stomach was so off I couldn't enjoy it completely.
Finally, it came time to get to the festival. I tried to power nap for a half hour before rising and forcing myself to shine. We stopped at the gas station, where a hot coffee (that magical elixir) managed to quell my stomach a bit more. We arrived at our friend's apartment complex, loaded their cooler and things into my car and set off.
When we arrived my strategy was simple- water. Water, water, food, water, water. I must've sucked back a couple gallons of water. I also sucked down a few glasses of wine as well. Though I have to admit we were smart about it. While we sampled a few new places, there were only a few as good as the winery we specifically came to taste. I stayed smart by remembering that I like sweet, and not dry, wines, so after trying a few I stuck with what I liked.
You will also recall I had only about 5 points remaining before I was all-out sick. Thankfully I balanced that line like a tight-rope walker, taking a sip from my wine glass and then a big chug from my water bottle.
And today? Well, let's just say today at work there was a spread for lunch that consisted of crab cakes, tortellini and chicken, and crab dip, and while I enjoyed it, my stomach was still punishing me for those last remaining bitter points.
Oh well, I have another whole week to build my points up. How did your weekend stack up?
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