"T-E-M-P", the New Four-Letter Dirty Word

The name of the game is temp, people. I think we are living in a society where the big businesses like banks and car dealerships think that "temp" is the worst of the four-letter words. I can not believe that as great as this job has been for helping me it has also been the worst kind of disability.

As you may or may not be aware, I've been recently on the hunt for a "new" used car ever since I got pulled over by that cop (who, though I know was just doing his job and protects us, blah blah, I hope still gets canker sores for making me deal with this car crap at the worst time).

I ended up having to go to the MVA to get some temporary (there's that word again) registration because my current car won't pass inspection, unless I want to drop a cool grand on fixing everything. The fact that it would only patch up my car to last another year (as in a TEMPORARY fix) or so combined with the fright my car gave me while trying to maneuver through all that snow all culminated in my decision to finally make an upgrade.

I think the last I mentioned all this I was looking at a 2000 RAV4 that I saw on Carmax. Well, that was soo 12 days ago. I was doing a bit more research and stumbled upon a what has the potential to be my dream car: SUV, four door, sunroof, roof rack, silver, great fuel economy, fold-back seats...all on a 2005 Hyundai Tuscon. The greatest thing is the price, a mere $8500 (for what should be valued as a $10,000 car). The catch? I know, and there is one- the mileage. At 84k miles, its not the greatest for a car only 5 years old, but still, it IS a Hyundai, which I'm told is a pretty reliable brand. Besides, I knew I'd have to sacrifice something.

So last week I contacted the dealership and set up an appointment to see the car. I was determined not to be talked into anything too fast, so I kept my poker face even as they took my car keys to inspect my car while I went for the test drive. We came back and I told them flat out what I could afford each month. The salesman went off to do some figuring and returned telling me he'd need some time to work on the deal, and so I left. After the holidays and much discussion with my fam I decided I was seriously falling in love with the car and would go back and try to get it.

When I returned the second time I brought Joe along and he explained that they still couldn't solidify my deal and that he'd contact me the next day. He did so, via text, and asking me questions about my temp job and finally admitting that without written proof that I would become a "full time" employee, they couldn't approve me. Ugh. I texted back that I'd try with my credit union, which I did today.

I sat across this friendly woman who after chatting for a while explained that the credit union would be unable to approve me given that my occupational status is technically "temporary". She suggested I bring along Joe to see if combined we can get approved tomorrow, so I'm trying to be optimistic. But that's probably just temporary as well....

I'll try to post again tomorrow, but if I can't/forget/don't feel like it, I'll see you all next year!

Freak Out

My friend said something funny about me the other night that I can't seem to get out of my head. We were out at a bar when I had the idea to try and film a Stop n' Shot with them, so I started placing them where I wanted them, explaining what I wanted them to say, and what precisely to do. As I had them at the bar and I was playing with angles, I heard one lean over to the other saying, "It's funny to hear Kris like this. She's usually so, 'whatever you wanna do is fine by me.'"

It's true, too. It made me think about all the times I wanted SO much to just have a good ol' meltdown and tell someone off. But usually, even if I'm that wound up I just end up unloading to some other poor innocent bystander...like Joe.

It's really not in my personality to be confrontational. In fact, for the longest time I didn't like to answer my own phone because I feared whoever was calling was going to yell at me for something I did. I think that probably began back in middle school when a "friend" called me to bitch me out about something, and I was so taken aback that it freaked me out.

I did have one once...sort of. Last year at the school, I was so frustrated that I just started laughing like a madman right in the middle of class. It had felt like trying to hold wet bars of soap in your hand...one kid was sleeping, another was trying to talk, someone had a question, someone had a comment. I broke the teacher rule and just started physically pulling my hair out and talking in gibberish. Thankfully the kids thought it was funny and didn't hold it against me too much. In fact, I recall one of my favorite students speaking up and saying, "Ok guys, let's get serious, before Ms. Bott totally loses it".

It seems that whenever I get annoyed in a place I HAVE to be in, I always try to take it internally. I do that whole passive-aggressive thing where I get very quiet, my lips get stiff, and my eyes look like someone just murdered my dog in front of me. I had that same sullen attitude the last few weeks--nah, more like months--at the school. I began coming to school later, slacking on giving the kids difficult assignments and forgetting to pass some back. It wasn't an excuse but I couldn't help shutting down. As valuable and grateful I was for the experience the teaching job gave me, as far as learning to be a leader and organized, it was even more valuable to me for showing me what I didn't want to do for the rest of my life.

But still, I admire people when I hear their stories about telling their boss or someone else deserving off. Since I don't seem to have the guts, I can live vicariously through others. Like that jetBlue guy in the news? Man, what a way to go out. And I always get such a kick out of anyone in the service industry I know who tells me about how they finally get some revenge on bitchy-ass customers, either through their manager or in the delicate realm of sarcasm. It makes me joyous...it's the best word to describe it.

Maybe someday I'll find myself in another job where I hate the people and just simply throw in the towel and do a "Half-Baked: 'F you, f you, f you, you're cool, f you, I'm out". But in the meantime, I'll just be content to say if you annoy me, I'm gonna tell you right to the back of your face...and several yards away....under my breath.

The Water Waiter

You know how they say that need is the mother of invention (at least I think that's the way that saying goes). Well, it really is true. On several occasions I will be doing something and right as I'm getting frustrated at it not working well or properly, I really want to look up into a camera and say, "There's got to be another way!"

Except what I actually need isn't around...at least, not yet. I've come up with some invention-ideas that, I think at least, are brilliant. Here are a few of my favorites...(oh yeah, and if anyone out there gets a hold of these ideas and actually CREATES them, I want a cut...I've got all 5 of these readers as witnesses)

1. The Water Waiter- This was prob the first idea I ever had. I remember it came me to while visiting my Nana and Pop's pool. They had all kinds of water toys like inner tubes and rafts, and usually my sisters and I would race for who would get what. And then we would proceed to float around for hours...except when we were hungry or thirsty. I always used to wish we had a floating cooler. But I didn't stop there. I thought about attaching small cup-holder things that would detach and had a small fan on each. They'd be powered much like a remote control car. A person could maneuver their drink right to them! Think about it...you're relaxing but really want a soda? Well, a person puts one in the cup holder and then it comes right to you! It's a water waiter! Yeah i know what the cons are: you need someone to actually put your drink in the holder, you need to remotely control a cup holder, and you need to put the control somewhere...and I'm sure there are scores of other things I'm not thinking of.

2. The Carpet Stick- Unlike the Water Waiter, this one Joe and I actually tried to make a prototype. I thought of this when I'd be vacuuming and noticed that our vacuum wasn't sucking up the smallest pieces of lint and hair. It was so annoying, all I kept thinking about was how I needed a lint brush. And then it hit me...I needed a giant lint stick roller that I could use on the carpet to pick up what the vacuum left behind. It seemed like such an obvious solution, yet I had never seen one. I told Joe and after he agreed at its ingeniousness, we went out to the Home Depot to buy a paint roller stick, a smaller hand-held paint roller, and alot of duct tape. I was all set to make an appointment with Black and Decker when we made a quick stop at Target...and then my hopes came crashing down. Right there in the sponge and broom aisle was EXACTLY what I had in mind. So with a heavy heart, and a speedy return of my supplies, I bought my own invention. And even though it satisfies the need I had, I can't help the pangs of bitterness I feel with each roll on the carpet.

3. The Hug Pillow (a.k.a. "The Huggie")- I thought of this one last night actually (and what sparked this blog). This may sound like Too Much Information, but I have the tendency to put pillows, blankets, or whatever between my knees when I'm trying to sleep. It's something about the pressure points there that makes it uncomfortable for me to sleep without some kind of support. However, I also like sleeping with my arms wrapped around something. I noticed that the shape of the pillows around me were almost a half circle. So what I needed was a circular-shaped pillow! I've tried "body pillows" before but they tend to be just longer pillows. I really want something that kinda cradles your whole body--kinda like a big Hug! (I can't imagine the Snuggie people passing this bad-boy up--be a great addition to bolster their faddish idea).

I doubt any of these get-rich-quick ideas will actually let me get rich or quickly. Besides the fact that I'm lazy, I have no clue on how to actually produce the mechanical aspects of them. Maybe I could just get a job at a think tank that pays me for my ideas. Oh well. Black and Decker, look me up...