Driver's Dread: Part 2

So I woke up on Tuesday, bummed out that I couldn't sleep in on my pre-arranged half-day, but so anxious to get this car stuff taken care of I probably wouldn't have slept much more anyway.

I got in my car, said a small silent prayer to allow me to get to the inspection station without being stopped, and went on my way. The inspection station is less than 4 miles away, about a 6 minute drive, yet they were some of the tensest I've ever experienced. As I was driving I passed two cop cars, and I could feel myself beginning to panic all over again. I kept muttering to myself, "They're gonna come get me...they're gonna come get me...". As if it couldn't get worse my gas light went off. Fearing that they would need to run my car to do the inspection I knew I had to stop and get gas.

At the station, I slid my credit card into the machine only to be told to "see attendant". I run inside and find myself BEHIND a state trooper in the line. I pay for my fuel, dash back to my car, fill up, and head towards the station. I made a stupid wrong turn, which caused me to turn around and face ANOTHER cop car that passed by. Finally, I make it to the station.

I hand over my keys to the mechanic. Now, I've been coming to this same mechanic for almost a year, and usually he's pretty good about cutting me a deal or telling me the truth about my car. But lately, it seems I've annoyed him OR he's just been in a bad mood. As I flip through a Better Homes & Garden, my stomach lurches every time I hear him come in from the body shop. Because he usually checks things in my car whenever I get an oil change, I'm not suspecting he's going to come back and tell me there's a major problem, but you never know.

I was actually pretty engrossed in some article about ways to make guests feel welcome, when I hear, "Kris, your car needs work. Alot of it." My heart sinks down to my feet and I stand and mosey over. He begins checking off a laundry list of problems, from the most worrisome (gash in the tire, brakes and alignment) to the least important (my back seat belt doesn't clasp, my driver-side window has a hard time going back up). With every item I see dollar signs. I finally ask what the cost would run to fix everything, and with a final long glance at my report he says, "Probably $1500-1600."

An atom bomb goes off in my brain. Where the hell am I going to get that kind of money? Is it even worth it when my car is over a decade old? I'm banned from my car and now have no chance in hell to get back to using it. I make two calls I dreaded: 1.) the school I'm supposed to be attending and explain (through a cracking voice and wet eyes) that I may need to pull my tuition money to pay for the repairs and 2.) my parents. After discussing things, I go back inside and ask the guy if he could at least replace my brake light, just so I'm not a total target for police.

"Can't do that till we know if its the bulb or something more serious," he says coolly.

"Well, how do I find that out?" I ask.

"By going inside."

"Huuum...," I say, dissatisfied at his response. I then decide to simply try my last shred of luck and get the car home. I hand him my $100 to pay for the inspection, only to hear him say,"Sorry, dear, can't break this."

"Oh man, are you serious?" I ask truly incredulous. How does a business that handles jobs ranging in the hundreds of dollars range NOT have change for a $100? I hand over my credit card, which is then declined (though I wasn't surprised since I've been leaning on it alot these past few weeks). He then tells me that I need to run across the road to the bank and get change.

So in my heels I wait for traffic to slow down and make a mad dash across a two-lane highway. I get the change and run back. I get my keys and drive home in tears, hopeless as to what to do, and still petrified I'm about to be stopped.

I walk through the door of the house to wait for my coworker/fremp who has kindly accepted to pick me up to take me to work, and see the dog has gotten into the garbage and taken a dump by the door. I clean everything up, go to work, get a plan in order for today and hope for a better outcome. Happily, I can say today, with a (temporary) registration in my hands and fresh new Maryland plates, I am able to breathe a little easier. And with that, I'll leave you till tomorrow....

Driver's Dread: Part 1

Although I was given a great tip for a topic today by a friend and reader (thanks Ran!), the past 48 hours have been so fraught with tension and misery that I thought I ought to do the more therapeutic (and entertaining) thing by relaying it all to you. But due to the fact that I have to get to bed soon in order to get up early (and because the dog's ass gas is causing me to feel faint and nauseous), I'll try my best to keep it brief.

First off, has this ever happened to you- You are going about your day as usual, thinking about a whole variety of things: what to make for dinner, when a certain bill is due, if I can afford to go back to school, or more appropriate for this time of year, what needs to be done for the holidays...These are some of the random thoughts that I had been playing with and bouncing around in my head, concerning myself with an assortment of things, and therefore never seeing the curve ball that was about to bean me right in the head...

I was driving home from work on Monday, pondering these kinds of thoughts, when I noticed a cop a few cars back in my lane. I had taken brief notice, muttering to myself about how much I hate when I have a cop behind me because I immediately panic and think I did something wrong. Normally this feeling passes as quickly as the cop does, going into another lane or turning away from me. Unfortunately, this was not the case this day.

He gets close behind me and it is then that the horrible realization dawns on me that he does not simply share my route, but that he is following me. And with that, the lights go off. I break into a cold sweat and my palms begin to quiver. Thankfully I have broken out of that phase where I would just immediately break down into tears. Instead the terror just resides in my throat and shaking hands. He walks over with his sunglasses on, and asks if I know why he pulled me over. I squeak out a "no", and he then tells me my brake light is out.

"oh...oh...ok," I say. He then waits as I fumble in the glove box searching for my registration and suddenly realize I do not hold a current and valid one. I simply hand over my license and he asks when I moved down here from New Jersey.

"I...uhm..I've, uh, been living here, um, at this address, for um, a few months...."

"Is this your current address?" he says, indicating my driver's license.

"No, I um, just moved...."

"What?" he asks.

"No, I just moved here back in July." He tells me to hold on and goes back to his car. I wait for what feels like an eternity, getting bitterly cold as snow begins to drift down, but I dare not to touch anything or do anything. He comes back finally and hands me a piece of paper

"I'm going to be nice and let you off with a warning for the brake light," he says, and then pauses. And just as it had had before, when I thought fortune really was smiling upon me, I have my face slammed down into the mud.

"But if I see you in this car driving, without proper Maryland registration and plates, I'll give you all the tickets you should be getting and have your car towed." I muttered out a thank you, and went on my way home, thinking about what he said. Banned from using my own car? My mind jumped right into all the questions: how would I get to work? What did it take to get transferred from New Jersey registration to Maryland, and could I even afford it? When would I get a chance to do all this without being screwed out of pay for work?

When Joe got home he set to work on trying to calm my fears as I looked up the requirements on the motor vehicle association website, and it didn't seem all that complicated or expensive. There was just one glaring issue: the state inspection. I would need to drive my car to get it inspected. What if I got pulled over again, and by the same cop? Worse, what if I got there and found out my car didn't meet the requirements? Worst of all, what if I couldn't afford to get everything fixed?

These were the new thoughts that plagued my brain all the rest of the evening, during dinner, during X-Files, in the shower, and as I tried to go to sleep. What was going to happen in the morning...I didn't really want to find out. But if you are interested you will, tomorrow...g'nite all!

3-Day

Monday again, already. Can't believe that we are looking Christmas smack dab in the face, and I haven't set foot in one store yet or clicked one mouse for a shipment of something. I know it shouldn't be surprising, seeing as how I live my life not IN the moment, but in the LAST moment. I probably would've started it this weekend, if only...

Let me say that I had a feeling Friday was going to be a bad day right from the beginning. See, with my job, we are able to get holiday pay (as in payment for federal holidays that close our business), so long as we meet a certain amount of hours leading up to it. Back on Labor Day, when I was all set to receive the rest of my money I looked in my bank account and saw it had not been directly deposited. When I called and asked about it, all I was given was a "Sorry, but you didn't reach enough hours." I was pissed and so I vowed I wouldn't get screwed like that again. And with a reassurance that I would be eligible for Thanksgiving I went on working.

So when Thanksgiving came and went I once again looked in my bank account to verify the second payment was deposited, and again, it was nowhere to be found. Again I called my "boss" and asked about it, holding out some hope that it was a misunderstanding and that it would be there soon.

"Oh yeah, you should be getting it, hang on." A few moments passed before he came back.

"Umm, hey can you hold on one more second? I just need to check something," he said, and slowly, my precious hope began to build. A moment longer and then he came back on the line.

"Ooooh, I'm sorry. Yeah you were still a few hours shy....sorry," I was livid, but I merely sighed with disappointment and hung up the phone.

Back at my desk I was working and sulking (mostly sulking) when I realized I had made an error...two, actually,..on the project I was doing. I suddenly began to panic, fearing the wrath of a certain coworker, who had strictly directed us NOT to do this specific thing. And I had gone and done it twice.

I looked up at the ceiling, as if waiting for either a meteor to come crashing through my skull or some sort of answer from God as to why I was being punished for such a lousy day. As I kept putting off telling my coworker what I had done I began truly wondering what the third bad thing would be; I'm a big believer in the power of 3.

My coworker eventually found me and I just sort of blurted out what I had done, apologizing profusely. Thankfully, he was nonplussed, and reassured me it was not really a big deal, and that it was easily fixable. As he walked away I breathed such a sigh of relief.

Also, I am happy to say, that the third evil thing never came. Though who knows...it may just be waiting till next Friday...

Everything is Coming Up Milhouse...

First off, let me say hello and welcome to the...that's right...SECOND follower for this blog. Ahh, it feels good to be a winner...

Unfortunately, however, I am having a hard time thinking of something to write tonite. I'm gonna try and maintain writing every weekday (incl Friday), but last night was a little too crazy. So I guess I'll write about today, a.k.a. MY day.

You ever see that episode of CSI where everything goes Hodges way? He finds the dollar on the ground, that chick who looks like she came off a toothpaste ad from the 90s smiles at him, he gets three bags of chips from that single aforementioned dollar in the machine, all to finally come together when he solves the mystery of the Miniature Killer. (And I apologize for the massive spoiler if there was one). That was basically my day today.

At first it didn't start well. Last night we had plans with another couple at their apartment and as the wine kept coming my phone slipped out and I didn't notice till we were on our way home. (I don't why, but when I've had a couple drinks I am obsessed with making sure my essentials: wallet, car keys, phone, lip balm, make it back home-I think it's more because I HATE preventable accidents, it just pisses me off) So I went from being sweet towards Joe to being Pissy O'Bitch before we even got home--poor guy.

I was also stressed because Joe was leaving to film a festival in West Virginia so I had to hope that my friend would respond to the text I sent her on Joe's phone before he headed out. Luckily she did, and I was ready to get it. As I was driving my friend Ashley, who is so busy I usually don't get to see her often even though we live a baseball throw away from each other, was on her patio and waving me down. She was trying to call me, but after I explained why I wasn't answering we made plans to hang out at her restaurant after she was done with work. So that made me feel good.

Then, I picked up the phone (+ the case of beer that we originally brought for them but they said they really wouldn't drink it--Score!) and headed to my big mission for the day...finding a gift for my friend Kelly's son birthday. Again, I was feeling stressed. Maybe it's me, but I HATE trying to get gifts for others because I am always worried the person will hate the gift. I know it's incredibly irrational and a waste of worry. But fortunately I have stock piles of worry that are constantly refilled.

I was set at ease with a very pleasant and sweet message from Kelly so again, made my little self-esteem barometer raise a bit. THEN I get to the Babies R' Us (hoping to heaven like hell that his wish list would work there instead of TOYS R US which was way out in Jahomafuck) and (angelic ahhhh) they had the gifts I wanted to give him PLUS it was under my budget. Kick that Ass..

Then, after getting my free bread from Target (thank you coupon) I decided since Joe was not around to say things like, "come on let's go", or "don't you already have something like those?", or "you ever think that shoes are just made to give us bunions so we keep podiatrists in business?" I decided to stop over at DSW. I mean, even though I haven't technically worked there in over a month I did still have my discount card, so wouldn't I be foolish if I DIDN'T get myself a few more pairs of shoes before it ran out/they realized that very fact that I haven't work in over a MONTH. I had no choice if you think about it.

So I found two pairs (that I really did need) and a new bag (ok, I really didn't need that but what the hell). I walked up to the counter and as I pulled out the card I held my breath hoping a red-flashing light wouldn't go off and a massive message didn't flash on the register screen that said "THIS IS NOT AN EMPLOYEE SHE IS SCAMMING YOU OUT OF $20.97 WORTH OF DISCOUNTS". When that didn't happen of course, I walked out the door beaming.

And then finally, after the birthday party, I figured since I was going by my hair salon (and since I haven't had my hair cut since around Thanksgiving) maybe by some miracle they could fit me in. I walk in and the place looks deserted. Not only could I just walk-in, but the girl who cut my hair seemed the most educated and professional stylist I've ever had. She gave me tips on what I ought to be using, helped me figure out what was wrong with my last cut, and even read my mind by adding some layers in the back.

Ahhh, so NOW i am just chillin with my new episode of "It's Me or the Dog," looking forward to tonite. Could my luck turn tomorrow and be a fully-realized nightmare? Will I win the lottery? Guess you'll have to read on Monday...du du duuuuu